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  • Writer's pictureAmba Brown

How to Create a Focus for Your Life - If You Didn't Grow Up With Stability

​Some people were not brought up in an environment conducive for them to cultivate a healthy focus for their life. I am one of those people. I grew up in an abusive environment both in and out of foster care, which slowly cultivated a physiological state of fear that later consumed my mind, ultimately provoking me to survive in life, not thrive.

Quite the notable difference in mindsets, wouldn’t you say?


When our environment provides for traumatic experiences, our brain’s circuitry develops in response to those events. That means people who experience abuse think differently than those who do not. This often prohibits the abused from knowing how to shift their energy and perspective toward a creative, healthy focus for their life because they’re typically accustomed to reacting to their environment instead of planning, thinking, building healthy relationships, or controlling their focus.

Emotions such as fear, anxiety, and panic are more active in the minds of those who experience abuse and trauma than those who do not. This can leave people feeling helpless, hopeless, and without options.  

The topic of creating a healthy focus for our lives is one that should be brought up earlier in our lives, as early as 4 or 5 years old. It’s never too soon to start focusing on developing the focus for our future.

I personally did not learn I could control the focus for my future until I was in my late 30s; sadly, there are thousands of other foster alumni who never learn it. The good news is we can change that starting today!

Here are some tips to get you started:

  1. Figure out what you enjoy, what comes natural for you, and what could you see yourself doing 5 or 10 years from now that brings a smile to your face. Learn to pay close attention to your inner voice. Your inner voice is there to guide you and to provide you answers to whatever questions you provide it. All you have to do is learn to listen to it.

  2. Once you figure out the answers to the above questions, ask yourself, “How can I build a life doing that thing?” This question now has the potential to become your central focus. For me, I knew I wanted to be a therapist since I was 10 years old. Had I learned to focus in on that thought and feeling instead of living a life of survival, I could have made a plan to move in the direction of that as a career and focus for my education. But that would have required someone teaching me how to nurture the idea. That’s what I’m suggesting you do for yourself now that you have read this article. Nurture what your inner voice reveals to you. Find the necessary mentors, take the necessary college classes, apply the concept to ways to improve society,   write books on the topic, become the expert, and take advantage of all opportunities that reveal themselves to you. 

  3. Focus on your legacy. How do you want to be remembered? What legacy do you want to leave? The ideas you come up with will probably change over the years. That’s okay. At first, I didn’t really know what legacy I wanted to leave. I just knew some things I wanted to accomplish. I started out with achieving my bachelors degree and years later that turned into writing a book, then another book, then a blog, creating a website, then a literacy program, and now it’s to help people learn how to maximize their super powers by reprogramming their subconscious mind using hypnosis.

It took me a while, but I eventually realized I wanted to be the BEST at all I did.  Being a person of excellence became the platform from which I did everything because I decided I wanted to be a great example for foster youth. I want to show them what IS possible. When we focus on creating a legacy that will live on long after we are gone, it creates a sense of healthy pride in ourselves. You can never go wrong when your focus in life also benefits humanity as a whole.  All you have to do to get started in life is just start and life will unfold for you. As you learn to oblige your spirit it will guide you.

You don’t need to know how anything will happen because that’s the magic of being led by your inner voice. Things just begin to happen as long as you have a focus. You must decide today what your focus will be. What beacon will you follow?

Is your inner voice guiding you toward a life of teaching, modeling, acting, hair, make-up, auto mechanics, computers, love for humanity, entrepreneurship, leadership, dance, construction, plumbing, or something else? Once identified, you will be well on your way to figuring out the focus for your life.

Remember, thinking doesn’t naturally occur for humans. We must focus our efforts toward thinking. Contemplate. This is how we will learn to integrate ideas, think abstractly, muse, imagine, and reason. As you increase your awareness of your talents and interests for legacy, use the momentum to progress your life and the big picture called your future.

Written by Dr. Capri Cruz, hypnotherapist, psychotherapist, life coach and author of Maximize Your Super Powers.


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