Mind your step … this is your path, not theirs.
Thinking about your future? Are you being honest with yourself about your loves in life, or are they a little defined by other expectations? What would happen if you followed those expectations? What would happen if you followed your own path?
A successful life:
Get through school
Get through uni
Get through marriage
Build a home
Build a bigger home
Work in a job
Another successful life
Up, up and up
Another successful life?
Be okay with what you just did
Fall in love
Work at it
Try things together with friends and family
Do something you didn’t think you could do
Don’t do something you don’t want to do
Be content with something small
Be nice to everyone around you
Smile at a person
Don’t expect success, just enjoy the process
Stop and do nothing
So what’s your idea of a successful life?
Write it down.
Now really, what’s your idea of a successful life? Not theirs, not your parents, but yours?
As conventional, unconventional or unachievable as it may seem…
Write it down.
Did you hear the secret? That when you put something out there, it happens. Then you put something out there and it doesn’t happen, so now you’re left thinking that the real secret is… that the secret should be left a secret because it doesn’t really work.
But just between you and I, have you ever been curious about what to do with your wishes (dreams, love-to-haves, idealistic notions etc). Maybe you were so curious that you actually did try to put ‘something’ out there, secretly of course, and by that I mean make any of the following statements:
“Because that’s what I’d really would love to happen”
“I know this seems odd but I would really love”
“I just wish …”
“I would love for [Insert what you usually say here]” (but inside something sadly reminds you that actually what you would love is [this]… you’re just scared to admit it.
Was this ‘thing’ something you would really love to have? Something genuine and true to you and your heart (yes your heart, that thing that keeps you alive)? Something that isn’t about who others ‘think’ you are, but who you ‘know’ you really are? You know, when you flop on your bed, sigh, let it out, relax your shoulders, let down your guard, and simply just relax. That You. The you that’s softer, gentler and just a bit more naturally held. The you who feels no effort to be you. There you are. Oh hey you!
What would this you actually love to have?
“Actually, what I would really love right now is to feel a little better about myself.”
“I would love some down time, because I’m exhausted and the thought of being around anyone right now is making me tired and cranky.”
Maybe what you’d love to have feels a little more complex and impossible.
“I know I didn’t really study any of these things, but I would love to try and study languages so I can go and translate foreign movies.”
“I would love to travel around the world for a year but I have no money”
“I would love to start my own business, but I’m not sure what in”
Wishes and loves can also seem whimsical and giddy.
“I would really love a cold glass of lemonade right now. The freshly squeezed kind you think of when you think about summer”
So what are you really, truly wishing for yourself right now? You can usually find the answer to this in those ‘life dreams’ that you’re hesitant to tell others about, and sometimes even more hesitant to tell yourself.
What would you love to happen today, tomorrow and in the future?
Write it down… “I would really love…”
Yes, This is awesome, it feels so good to say these things!!
Now read over your masterpiece (list).
What’s your immediate thought or reaction?
It won’t or can’t happen?
How did she know?
Do you think it’s a coincidence that deep down we would all really love different things, regardless of the reason why? I’ve always been a little intrigued by the idea that the world has sorted itself into people that each find themselves traveling a path which all together, has us doing a little bit of everything needed to make the world go round.
That one person wakes up here and thinks I’m going to do this,
whilst another person over here decides that they would love to do this.
Without variation would we be globally imbalanced? I guess this is where being true to ourselves in work, love and life becomes a rather important consideration. By example some people are born natural leaders. Their little heart drives them through certain leadership situations with ease and grace; a grace that comes so naturally it looks effortless. Then there are those that aren’t ‘leaders’, but who are admired for their ease and grace (effortlessness, genius, talent) in a whole other situation. Like the person that can be radiant in what you might consider a “casual job”, because in life they have a whole other self that you don’t know about it… like a music career or artist ambition.
Now pay attention. Neither one of these situations (or the billion other examples of the above point) is better than the other. Let me say that again just to make sure you’re paying attention.
NEITHER ONE OF THESE SITUATIONS IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER.
Rather, ease and grace in life (a content and fulfilling life) will be found on those paths where you are naturally yourself. In fact, we work better when we allow our natural selves in life and love to flare. Distress in life (headaches, fear, tension, anger and frustration) usually come from denying this (in the context of life decision making).
So once again, pay some attention to why you’d love to have what you’d really love to have. Is it that you’d love this to happen because you’re scared something else won’t happen? A back up plan? Or you’d love this to happen because it just speaks to you, lights you up, makes you all giddy inside?
Now that you’ve paid attention, revisit your list.
I’m not going to lie. There’s a determination and courage that comes with following what speaks to you. I mean there’s a reason why people are so moved by true success stories, where the impossible seems to be defied. Whether you choose to acknowledge it or not, there’s a fear that traps you from being true to yourself. This fear causes all sorts of complications up in our minds. “Because of this”, “because of that”, we decide that the things we would love to happen, are things not likely to happen for us. This fear sees us paying attention to the more fearful concerns of others, instead of genuinely assessing the circumstance for ourselves, finding our own path forward.
We think of what we’d love, we get excited and then often we feel something close to pain. That pain, is fear; fear that something you actually care about will be lost.
Does your fear of loss feel more painful than taking the first step towards your wishes?
Worse still, does your fear leave you feeling like you don’t deserve something that you know you’d love to experience?
Does your fear leave you narrow minded about your possible futures?
All your decisions rest on one of two platforms - fear or love. Ponder this idea for a moment. You make decisions because you’re scared something will or won’t happen; you make a decision because you’d love for something to happen. You react because you’re scared something might happen. You react in love of what might just happen. You wonder “Why did they get angry at me?” out of fear something would go wrong, that you’re not enough? Why did you go on that holiday? Because you’d love to see the place. Why do you resist the changes around you? Out of fear something bad will happen? Why did you not have that conversation? Out of fear something bad would happen? Why did you have that conversation? Out of love of yourself, for another and what you feel is right.
What would you genuinely love to happen today, tomorrow and in the future?
Write it down.
What’s your reaction now - fear or love?
What would happen if it was based on love? In what direction would you turn your focus? What first step would you take?
Now love that you would love this to happen, because that little love, that “would love to have”, the giddy bubbly feelings that naturally make you smile, is the truest part of you that exists. And when you’re being true to yourself, incredible things happen. Not can happen. They happen. Words by Charlotte Marie Brady For more details about Charlotte or to say hello please visit her website here.